There’s a beautifully written song sung by Sara Bareilles called “Love Song.” It’s a simple title for a complicated subject. Her opening lyrics, “Head under water and they tell me to breathe easy for awhile. The breathing gets harder, even I know that” set the tone for the song, but they also speak volumes for topic. When you’re under water, you can’t help but feel vulnerable, and the same can be said for being in love. You know you have some control but there are outside forces at work as well.
If you grew up in the country or visited friends or family there, you know about all of the wonderful activities and natural beauty. Maybe you swung on a rope out over the lake and plunged into the green, inviting waters, or walked among the tall trees and fragrant flowers, taking in their pleasant-smelling offerings. There was a promise of fun and enjoyment tied to a wonderful carefree attitude. There was a tangible sensation of the breeze on your skin, the wind in your hair, the toughness of the rope fibers in your hands, and maybe a thrill of danger as you let go of that rope and fell into the water. It was exciting and invigorating!
But sometimes things don’t go as planned. Maybe you flopped in belly first…ouch! Maybe the water is too cold or too murky. You thought your vision would be all right, but you discover that you can’t see that well. You start to panic, which causes you to improperly breathe, creating a painful situation in your lungs. Time stops.
It’s of the utmost importance in these cases to remain calm and draw upon your experience and courage that you have inside to find your way back to the surface. You get there and stick your nose out, but then it feels like a struggle to stay afloat. Apprehension, desperation. Can I swim back to solid ground? Am I breathing properly? What if I swallow water? But then you remember I DO know how to swim. I DO know how to breathe. I DO trust myself to return to safety. Putting your fortitude to work, you take it one stroke at a time and make it back to land, exhaling a sigh of relief as the warm sun beams onto your grateful face. Your will to endure wins again!
These same feelings can envelop us as we meet new love. There’s a spark of excitement, a thrill that gives us a sense of time moving too quickly. But just like falling into the water, falling in love comes with risk. At first, we want to take it all in at once, seeking a level of fulfillment that is impossible without the necessary baby steps. We forget to live in the moment and instead rush forward. We start feeling overwhelmed underneath a mountain of emotions. But love is unpredictable, and if something goes wrong, we don’t have to hit the panic button. The strength to pull yourself out resides inside of YOU.
Let go of that rope and take the plunge. Don’t let fear of the unknown stop you. Know that there may be challenges, but you can overcome them and swim back to the surface with confidence. Know that next time won’t be as scary. Take the leap and breathe easily.
Let’s Talk About Your Experience Overcoming Fear of Love
Tell us how you overcame your fear of falling in love.
Share your personal story of finding new love a bit scary.
Have you recently gotten involved with someone and told them about your fears?
Image by: kidultchia